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The Most Coherent Regret I’ve Ever Had…

I spent $45 for this piece of shit. Do not ask me what I was thinking.

After having a seizure and falling down a flight of stone stairs – I went home from the hospital the next day and blew over $2000 on shit I didn’t need. Clothes, food I don’t eat, I stocked up on crap as though a civil war was going on and behaved as though my last days on Earth were upon me.

They weren’t. I’m still here.

This small chunk of my history happens to be the most coherent single regret I’ve ever had. Nearly all my regrets follow black-outs or something having to do with being intoxicated and/or going through withdrawal. This experience of blowing through a chunk of cash is different. This one sinks low and feels even lower. I really wish I hadn’t spent that money. I didn’t need one thing I bought with it.

That $ was my head-start savings for a new jeep. And – well – – – SHIT! Now I’m wearing a dress I bought with that money that looks like something an 8 year old would like. LOOK AT IT! It’s ridiculous!! But instead of allowing myself to throw it away, which I nearly did, I’m forcing myself to wear it and use it as a nightgown so I at least get my freakin’ $’s worth.


Published by Jennifer

I've finally found my happy place in sobriety. Yay! Go Me!

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