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A Conversation …

Which option/voice in our heads to agree with…?

“It wasn’t my choice to drink.”

“But you did it anyway?”


“Well, whose choice choice was it?”

“Mine. But I didn’t want to do it.”

“That doesn’t seem to have anything to do with anything – does it?”

“What? Not wanting to drink””

“Yes, because you went right ahead and did it anyway, didn’t you?”


“Why do you think you chose to drink when you didn’t want to?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re the only one who does know. Don’t you think? How could I know why you did it? How could anyone know? Have you thought about that?”

“I shouldn’t drink if I don’t want to.”

“Okay, but you did. What does that tell you?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do know. You just don’t want to look at it. Did someone force alcohol down your throat? Did someone make you swallow it or did you do it because you had an urge to do it.”

“I had an urge, but I still didn’t want to do it.”

“Maybe a part of you didn’t want to do it. But there’s another part of you that did. And you let THAT part take control of your behavior. You let that part reach over, pick up some alcohol, and swallow it.”


“So once you see that you have the power to choose – you can also see that you have the power to follow up that choice with your behavior. When you don’t want to do something – you don’t have to do it. Not when it comes to drinking.”

“Yes, but it’s so much harder. I drink even when I don’t want to.”

“I hear that. But does it make sense to you that you’re forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do?

“I don’t know. Not really.”

“So what can you do to get control of this part of you that wants to drink?

“But I don’t want to drink.”

“Okay, but you’re not just the YOU that’s talking to me right now. You’re a complex individual made up of many working parts. And there is a part of you that wants to drink. And that’s the part YOU listen to and then act in agreement on. It is possible to disagree with that part of you and NOT follow up with agreeing behavior? You don’t have to drink just because that part of you wants alcohol. You can tell it NO.“


“Do you think it might be a good idea for you to think about learning how to control your behavior?”

Blank stare.

“If I reach over and grab my coffee cup and drink some coffee, is this action a behavior?”


“What if my coffee cup has alcohol in it? Is it also my choice to NOT reach over and drink some because I’m trying to stay sober and free of alcohol?”



Published by Jennifer

I've finally found my happy place in sobriety. Yay! Go Me!

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