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I just woke from the most awkward dream of my mother and my ex-husband. He and I were sorta but not really back together. And we had a toddler that was about 2 years old. A boy. It was Christmas time and, as usual, my dad’s side of the family had gathered together to celebrate. And my mom was there, which was completely and utterly – in every way – out of place. But this was a dream so I went with it.

For whatever reason, I’d been out of the picture and my ex had our young son. I showed up for the holiday gathering and so did he, which was also a bit off because we were divorced. I immediately went to him to collect our son, picked the child up – and he literally weighed about as much as a grown man. I had to lean over backward to gather the necessary momentum to hoist the child onto my hip.

Two things caused me great distress in the dream. First, my mom had unpacked her crap in the room my ex and I were sharing (okay all of that is weird). Her clothes were draped all over the bed and the bathroom counter. Her shoes were in the closet with OUR things. Second, my ex’s family was also at my family holiday gathering. He has (in real life) 12 brothers and sisters and some of them are just – nosy interfering asses.

I felt as though my space and my personal business between me and my ex had been greatly infringed upon and I resented it a great deal. In real life, my ex lives in NJ (I live in Oregon) and I haven’t spoken to my mom in 15 years. The dream ended with me carrying a 20lb bag of rice past the business I stole it from.

??? Dreams are weird!

Published by Jennifer

I've finally found my happy place in sobriety. Yay! Go Me!

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